Trusting God---Your Life Depends on It!

What's up, peeps! This will be my first published blog----totally informal. 

Today, I want to write about pressing through challenging times and trusting God despite circumstances surrounding you.

The last couple of years of my life have been the MOST challenging ever for me. I have experienced homelessness, mental health issues and three failed suicide attempts. It is easy to say "trust in Jesus" until you have to walk that out. When you make the choice to be a disciple of Christ, learning to depend on God versus other vices begins initially, but as I mature and age, my faith in Christ is challenged in a new way.

I remember distinctly praying to God for a car. At the time, I lived in my very own apartment on Mack road and drafted a plan to purchase a car. I was in school at the time and I decided to use incoming financial aid money to purchase a used car. I remember talking with my mentor and further developed my plan for this. I started doing some research and looking at places that I could get a car from. I considered which male mentor from my church would be the best fit to assist me in making this purchase. 

All while I was taking action and creating a plan, I prayed every day! I asked God for wisdom, favor and to lead and guide my steps. At this point in my life, having a car was a top priority for me. I made no excuses when commuting to and from work, church, travel, running errands, etc. I did what I could and if couldn't get there I did not go. I REFUSED to stress about what I could not control. Although I had to come to this place in my mind....complaining was tiresome!  I complained about unhelpful friends, I was mad at my family members for not supporting me... and I told God about how much I helped them in their time of need, etc. I found every reason to complain and still beat myself up for not being "self-sufficient" 

However, God had another plan for ME!!! He did exactly what His word said He would do! He did "exceedingly, abundantly above all that I could ask or think!" (paraphrase, Ephesians 3:20) I went to church one Sunday morning and a fellow member, Sister Linda Jones (may she rest in peace 💖) found me in the audience in-between Sunday School and morning worship. [Now let me preface this testimony to say that she was serious about her prayer life!! She was a prayer warrior for real and wanted God with her whole heart.] Sister Linda approached me and asked me if I could afford car insurance and something else---I fail to remember. Based on my current income, I believed I could so I told her yes. She went onto say that she prayed and God told her to bless me with a car!!!! I experienced shock and excitement at the same time! She and her husband were getting a new car and wanted to rid this one which included a salvaged title. With my big kool-aid smile I thanked her and confirmed the time we would get together so I could pick-up my new ride. 

I ran to the church bathroom and cried big tears all because of God's goodness towards me!!! I had one plan to get a car and put in the work for it and God had an entirely different plan! This was a miracle to me that I would NEVER forget and a testimony of God's faithfulness!! I knew, only God could touch someone's heart to GIVE me a car for free.

Just like that experience, God increased my trust from one level to the next! My faith in Christ increased and it gave me a new perspective of what God is capable of. Yes, I read in the bible of many miraculous signs and wonders He performed; and yes the scripture boosted my faith too! I heard the "big and small" testimonies of the saints on how God provided milk to drink to healing cancer! However, when I experienced His goodness and miracles personally it gave my walk with Him a WHOLE new spin! I thanked my father so for LOVING me and seeing about every one of my needs! 

THIS testimony is not the only way God has provided for me or taught me to trust Him even when life was proving difficult. God has ALWAYS come through for me just in the nick of time. Whether He has provided food when I didn't have any (fridge was literally empty) or gave me contentment when I had rice and beans and I seasoned it so that it was the BEST rice and beans ever until I could get more food. I grew up poor and in the hood and was not privileged to experience some of the "finer" things until I reached my adulthood. My parents gave us their best; specifically, my mother---she went without so we could have our basic needs met! I saw our struggle as children and it continued as we grew into teenagers and young adults but it was when I made my mind up to live for Christ that I learned I needed Him for everything. He kept me during this time but the test was more for my parents---when I became an adult and had to be responsible and became a Christ-follower I begin to put my trust in Him.

God has provided for me even when I made an unsound choices---like spending money budgeted for a bill on frivolous items or wasting money on luxury items just to "keep up with the jones" I still struggle with budgeting and saving but I have grown tremendously because when you go in circles for the same thing over and over again you get tired and want to change! Lol, It is okay to make hamburgers at home to eat instead of eating "In N Out." Don't get me wrong, I believe that when you work hard, you should treat yourself but everything should be well planned out! 

This year, I was homeless for five to six months. I lived in three different households---some longer than others. I experienced living in my dad's truck for one night only. In my adult life, I never had to live with someone else as a dependent; it added a different set of trials in addition to being without a home. During this time, I literally thought I would lose my mind. I experienced mental health issues in 2018 and more recently and strongly in November of 2018 so trying to yet receive healing in my mind and emotions while living with others was challenging. I'll never bash those who took me in and cared for me; I am FOREVER GRATEFUL that they cared enough to support me. 

However, I continued to TRUST in God! I walked around with a smile on my face, even if the tears were flowing. I walked with my head held up high. I tell you that God was stretching my faith in Him immensely! I had to stop complaining about what I couldn't control because it weighed me down. I had to speak Life and not death with my tongue. Now, don't get it twisted, I wasn't "on point" every day as I experienced this...some days I was literally on edge but I had to get it together and regroup my mind!!! I reminded myself of who God is, I cried out to Him when I had the opportunity to be alone and I read His word to renew my mind! Going to church and being connected to my church family was crucial!! God intentionally used some people to give me a hug, smile, word, etc to let me know that I could press on!! God is so out of the box He would use strangers to pour into my life or I would come across a message on YouTube that made me "litty!"

During this time I did some practical stuff too...I listened to my jams ( I love music, mostly gospel) I attempted to exercise a few times, I tried to get out and do something different and spent time with good friends. At this time in my life, I was losing weight because I ate differently....it felt good and I felt much better!

Trusting God is key in this world. Our world systems are literally falling apart...people hate each other because skin color is different than theirs or because of malicious intent. Families are against each other over petty misunderstandings. People walk around in self-pity and the love of many have waxed cold...(Matthew 24:12) people ain't got no patience and refuse to forgive. According to Department of Motor Vehicles and a local Sacramento radio station, July 2019 is deemed the hottest month recorded since the 1800's....sheesh to think Hell gonna be several times hotter than that...I ain't going!

This is my first post and I pray you all can relate and I pray it is supportive in some way. Below are tips for trusting in Jesus:

• Pray every day, throughout the day (one-worded prayers count too!)
• Complete a fast (many types) each week, sometimes two-three times a week
• Read scripture or passage every day 
• Memorize and meditate on a scripture...start a new one after the previous one is completed
• Write in a journal, talk with close friends or do a video-log
• Write scriptures on sticky notes or white paper and place them on your wall
• Ignore those who misunderstand you or cannot see the bigger picture, pray for them and yet be kind
• Speak to and over yourself
• Listen to gospel music and pump yourself up! 
• Attend your church home as often as possible; amazing moments happen there that cannot be duplicated
• Hold your head up!
• Check your perspective and change it when necessary
• Travel somewhere near or far
• Listen to sermons on trust from credible sources
• Reach out to those older saints who have more wisdom
• Be intentional